The Young, Saved, and Fly

Jeff Beckham Jr.

When you read 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. ⁸Love never fails.” which one of the phrases of that scriptures stands out most to you? I know we’ve all heard this scripture a thousand times. It seems like if it’s church, a wedding, or just in passing you’ve heard a person discuss this as a sermon or bible study. Most of the time when people talk about this scripture it’s usually in reference to everything that follow the very first phrase. I can recall the first time I heard a sermon on this scripture I remember the minister speaking about kindness, modesty, and humility but I can’t recall a time where I’ve heard one talk about the very first part of that scripture, “Love is patient.”

Patient love seems like an easy enough concept. Maybe that’s why so many people skip over that part; but is it really? When I write about topics or speak on topics I like to use examples to provide relevance. When it comes to love and being patient I don’t think there is a better example of the active use of patience with love than that of Jesus Christ. I mean think about it who didn’t Christ love. Judas who sold him out, Peter who betrayed him, and humanity whose sins crucified him. I could not imagine what kind of patience it must have taken for Him to love us. I mean if it was any of us we probably would have given up. If a friend was supposed to have your back on a job interview and denied they knew you when the hiring manager called; would that person still be your friend tomorrow? Would you still be able to love someone who cheated you or sold you out for money? I don’t think I could be a patient loving person moving forward.

Patience is truly a virtue these days. We don’t have to wait for much of anything anymore. No one operates with patience about anything. Instant movies, fast food, and a pervasive attitude of instant gratification guides us these days. Everyone wants what they want when they want it and no one is willing to wait on anything. However scripture clearly defines this as the first element of love. Have you ever considered why this one was written first? Human beings aren’t linear by any means. We don’t behave like robots and emotions cause us to act and think differently daily. Emotions, values, and behaviors are just a few basal components of human nature. Think of them as peaks and valleys on an EKG machine. No one is up all the time and no one is down all the time it’s a slight fluctuation. In order to truly love someone you have to operate with patience as people undergo these basal occurrences. I think that’s why Paul listed patience 1st. (we aren’t going argue over interpretation and version today we’re just gonna roll with the NIV ok!) Paul understood that people change and that all other elements of love are codependent on patience. Think about it.. Love is kind but at times when it’s not you have to be patient because sure enough if it’s true love it will be kind again. Love doesn’t boast and it’s not proud but there may be proud moments in a loving relationship. Love is not easily angered but ask any married couple that have spent a lifetime together or couple that’s been together long enough to go through something and they will tell you anger will occur yet it’s the patient love that helps them get through. Love is patient. The fluctuating nature of human behavior causes it to be.

I think we need to take this patience factor into account with existing and new relationships. We probably all could use a little more patience before we rush to judgment or decision. If we used more patience in love, things would be so much different in our lives. Divorce would decrease dramatically because couples would take their time before rushing to the altar. Friendships would be stronger because we would speak and act with patience towards our friends more often. Relationships would be better off because we would take more time before entering into them and we would guard the others heart once we were. Think about it, patience would limit or prevent bad relationships. Patience would allow two parties time to go through what Hill Harper calls the A-F-I process in his book “The Conversation.” That process stands for acquaintance to friend to intimacy. So often these days folk jump form A-I before establish the F part. We cause ourselves heartache and even worse by moving too quickly or making hasty decisions inside of relationship. Physical attraction pulls us away from the friendship component and we end up messed up. Maybe we can take a little more time with the each other. Consider the other person more. If it’s truly the 1 Corinthians kind of love then remember that patience comes 1st. I hope this helps you.

Jeff