The Young, Saved, and Fly

In reply to an interesting blog written called “The House of Jaded Women” by Ms. Chianne Greer.

It’s not an impossibility or cosmic joke to have the love or things in your life that you want and deserve. The biggest issue we have as young people especially young black people is that we take God out of the decision making process when it comes to dating and we certainly remove the friendship component.

We jump to intimacy too soon bypassing the true “getting to know you” step that is so necessary in relationships. Proverbs says that “There are friends who destroy each other but a real friend sticks closer than a sibling.” In relationships how often have you had the destructive person in your life?   The litmus test is when the person sticks by you no matter what. The true person who loves you will propel you to purpose and help you reach your God-given destiny while the wrong one will distract you and dissuade you from it. There are some people who feel as if they aren’t married by a certain age that their life is incomplete and they become jaded to the possibility of real happiness.   As young men and women and even not so young men and women we must let that jaded mentality go.  For the ladies you’re not an old maid at 27,29,33,35, or 38 and although it may seem impossible to believe there are some nice single brothers out here looking for “Mrs. Right too”… Just remember all things happen in God’s time and not your own… Be faithful and remember that you don’t know the plans God has for you but He has plans to prosper you, not harm you, give you the hope and future you deserve.

The focus should be on God and the work he has for you to do and everything else will fall into place.  If you do things in good measure you’ll be blessed with the great things God has for you.  Funny thing is do we have to stop giving God a grocery list cause all the things we want may not be best for us. They key is asking God for the best He has for us! God knows what you need and when you need it…

~jb~

I woke up this morning thinking about how grateful I was to have the ability and opportunity to be here one more day. What’s one day?  Well when you think of it on a macro level today could be the day you set the wheels in motion for something great to occur in your life.   You could meet someone who’s impact could catapult you to your preordained purpose.  What’s one day?  Today could be the day that you help someone accomplish something or encourage someone to be greater.  It could be the day you change the life of someone else with a kind word, a smile, or a helping hand.  What’s one day? I just want to encourage you to make the most of your life.  Tomorrow isn’t promised and we have a unknown amount of time to make an impact.

All of us are who we are today because others invested in us. I think about all the people in my family that have invested in me. My grandfather was very disciplined. He had a very strong work ethic. He taught me by example the importance of being diligent and giving every job my very best. My grandmother was so full of joy. I never saw her upset. She constantly had a song of praise coming up out of her heart. She is a big part of who I am today. She’s one of the main reasons why I smile practically all the time.

Growing up, my mother not only loved and cared for us children, but every day before we left for school she would say, “Father, thank You that my children have Your favor wherever they go.” I learned to expect God’s favor from my mother. You know what I’m doing today? Telling other people to believe for God’s favor.

My father was constantly telling me how great he thought I was and how I could do anything. He took time to mentor me. He was busy, but he still gave me his attention. As a little boy, he used to go up to the hospital to visit people that were sick. He would always take me with him. He would have me join hands with the family when we prayed.

As a teenager, I would come down to the church during the summer and sit in meetings with him at the office. Half the time I didn’t know what was going on. But on the way home, he’d always explain it. “Joel, this is what we were doing. This is the reason we were doing it.” He didn’t have to. He had a lot going on, but he understood that he had a responsibility to pass on everything he possibly could. My father did his best to teach me everything he knew and sometimes things he didn’t know.

I think about how in Victoria’s family they’ve had a special recipe that’s been in the family line for four or five generations. It’s called Senator Russell’s Sweet Potatoes. They are the best sweet potatoes in the world. They’ve got a crust of cinnamon, sugar and nuts. We don’t even like the sweet potatoes. We just like the crust! But what happened is that somebody came up with that great recipe generations back. They could have thought, “This is my special dish. I’m just going to keep it to myself.” No, they were living with the mindset that “I’ve got to pass down everything good I possibly can.” So one day that mother taught her daughter the recipe and that daughter taught her daughter. Eventually, it got down to Georgine, my mother–in–law. She taught her daughter, Victoria. Now, every Thanksgiving, Victoria and our daughter are in the kitchen making Senator Russell’s Sweet Potatoes.

Let me ask you, are you transferring your wisdom, your experiences, your shortcuts, your recipes down to the next generation so they can start ahead of you?

Just the other day, I was talking to our fourteen–year–old son Jonathan about how to prepare a message, how to study and communicate. I thought, “I’ve been doing this for ten years. I want to make sure he at least knows what I know.” You may think, “Well, Joel. I don’t have any special expertise. I don’t know that much.” Sure, you do. You know about life. You know what works and what doesn’t. You know the mistakes you’ve made and what you’ve learned from them. You have experience. You have skills. Many times, what we take for granted is a big deal to someone else.

But so often today, instead of investing in our children and giving them the attention they need, we give them activities. We’re running them here and there, taking them to this activity, getting them back to that special function and then to another activity. It’s like we’re running a bus service. We sit back and watch them play sports, watch them do ballet, and watch them in the school play. And that’s fine. I played a lot of sports. But if we’re not careful, we will substitute activity for attention.

Understand, your children need you more than they need another activity. Studies tell us that by the age of five, our children have already developed their sense of reasoning. By the age of twelve, 95% of who they are and what they believe has already been established. Don’t let the television be a babysitter for your children. Don’t allow sports, ballet and band take from the time that you could spend with them and impart into them.

Think about how high our children would go if we would all live like this. This is the way it’s supposed to be. Every generation should build on the next. My children shouldn’t have the same struggles that I’ve struggled with. They’re starting at a higher level. There’s more wisdom, more depth, more experience in our family line. They should take what I know and run with it.

Lou Holtz, the famous football coach said, “When I die, my accomplishments will eventually be forgotten. But what I’ve invested in my players will continue to live on.” The best legacy is not what we leave for people. It’s what we leave in people. We all have things that we’ve learned: skills, talents, life experiences, wisdom. You have a wealth of knowledge that God has entrusted you with. You are not supposed to keep that to yourself. You should be passing that on to somebody else. We have a responsibility to transfer what we know to the next generation. Are you taking time to invest in your children? And if you don’t have any children, how about your nieces and nephews? Your neighbors? The kid down the street?

You and I have an opportunity to leave a mark that cannot be erased. Yes, eventually we’re all going to die, but when you invest in somebody else, you will continue to live on. Your life can have influence for generations to come if you will take time to invest in people.

The only way this is going to happen is if we are taking time to invest in them. We have to transfer what we know into them. Really, I believe the best inheritance we can leave them is what we have put in them, not what we leave for them. Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for leaving resources, but that’s not all I’m going to leave. I’m going to make sure I teach them everything I know about life, about ministry, about marriage, business, economics. Anything I know I’m going to pour it into them. I’m constantly telling my children, “You’re not only getting everything I have, not only everything I know, but you’re getting everything Granddaddy imparted into me, everything Grandmother gave me. They put it in me, and I’m going to do my best to pour it into you.”

My prayer and declaration for all of our children is that they are going to start where we finish, and God is going to take them places we’ve never even dreamed of. Our children are going to be mighty in the land. Remember, the only investments that are going to last are our investments in others. We are all leaving a legacy, either intentional or unintentional. When it’s unintentional, we just live life and wait to see what’s going to happen. But when it’s intentional, we’re constantly looking for ways that we can invest in somebody else, leaving them with the best of what we have and know.